Monthly Archives: January 2014

January 28

Today, thankful for finally mastering (kinda) APA

and for my dear friend, Krystal ❤

 

and, of course, great films from the 80s and before. lol I was watching Pretty in Pink and really liked the prom scene. They are dancing NORMAL. not like the morons today who freak. wtf? Save that for the bedroom, kids. 

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January 27

I have come to a conclusion that I am scared… therefore the fear makes me depressed…

 

but I am thankful for my family and my nephews… ❤

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January 26

This is really hard. this is realllllly hard. I’m balling, my eyes are bursting with red and tears. I don’t understand why I cannot just be happy why this so difficult for me. why can’t I be in a place I want to be???? My mind is just moving around with suicidal thoughts and happy ones. It is a constant battle I am having with myself. I really hate these episodes I continue having. I just want help I am sooo trapped. Why cant I get some reassurance and guidance? I feel like I am drowning in my own depressive thoughts. No one really seems to help everyone just says be thankful and be happy- how???????

Okay one thing I am thankful for today-  having my family. and  place to sleep at night. and a job. I feel like some invisible person keeps stabbing my chest and heart. Help me please.

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January 25

You know it is really difficult to see my friends with their significant others on fb and ig… I really want to be with him everyday and get anxious immediately. I dont understand why I was put in a depressing position to just go days and wonder when will we hang out together next? Plus I want more things… they say that when you really want something deep down youll get it… sighh… 

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January 24

Happy birthday to Nicole! Happy to still have her in my life 🙂

I guess I am thankful to have my mama because at Nicole’s birthday, almost every single girl was dressed super casual… I looked damn good and appropriate in my cute skirt and top 🙂 Glad mama gave me good fashion sense

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January 23

Thankful for getting sales on Etsy!!! 

I’m getting there!

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January 22

Finally home from ER…

Thankful for my family for caring and believing me and of course to God that I am okay… going through the tests and scans… scary! Just glad that so far nothing serious. But I have to eat better :/ no more sweeets! They were surprised how someone so petite and skinny could have such have levels of glucose 😦  blame the sweeeet toooooth!

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